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Call 1-800-Google

Like everyone else in Garden America, the woman working the counter of the Pleasant Valley Garden Center on Saturday morning looked stricken when we mentioned the black walnut tree.

“They kill everything,” she said. “I’m going to call Melody. She helped someone with a vegetable garden this morning, so she’ll be able to help you.”

Finally, an expert. Someone paid to traffic in plants.

“Melody? Melody to the front for customer assistance?” The redheaded woman at the front counter called over the P.A. out into the greenhouse, and in minutes, a perky woman with her hair in two low, side ponytails, appeared from somewhere out back.

We explained to Melody what the problem was, and no surprise, her face fell, too.

“Those trees are poisonous,” she said. “I don’t think anything grows under them.”

I tried to hold my information close to my chest, partially because I didn’t want to appear like a know-it-all, and partially because I knew the chances that I didn’t know what I was talking about were fairly high. “I’ve heard there are a few plants that can make it, but we’re trying to figure out whether we can even save the plants we have.”

“Tomatoes, right? And peppers?”

We nodded.

“You can definitely do those in containers,” she said. “I’d recommend just transplanting them so you can locate out of the way of that tree.” She shook her head sadly. “But as for the plot, I don’t think anything will grow there.”

“Well, we have some stuff growing there that’s doing fine,” I said. “I think there are plants that can tolerate what comes off the tree.”

Her eyebrows rose. “You know, let’s go look that up.” She turned on her heel and headed toward a desk in the back corner of the store. I followed, and Steve trailed behind me.

She sat at a computer terminal, and pulled up Internet Explorer. “I love Google,” she said. “It’s the best thing ever.”

I could just about hear Steve snorting behind me. “I’m going to go look around,” he muttered, clearly disgusted with the fact that the “expert” wasn’t any better versed in this stuff than we were. But me? I was determined. I was sticking with this, even if it meant I had to watch Melody look up search terms like “black walnut underplant,” which does not mean anything, and therefore yielded no usable search results.

“Maybe I need to try something else,” she said, typing furiously. “Ah, yes, here we go. OK, so it says here that the poison is called…hmm…juglone. Interesting.”

I strongly considered taking off my sandal and beating Melody with it. But I gritted my teeth and smiled. “Yes,” I said. “Interesting.”

“Oh!” She turned and glanced at me over her shoulder, a big smile on her face. “There’s a list here of plants that grow under black walnut trees!”

Yes, Melody, I thought. We found that page with Google on Friday. Again, I smiled through clenched teeth. You go, girl.

“Squash, beans, cantaloupe, corn, onions and carrots,” she said. “I know we don’t have all of those, but we do have some, and all our veggie seedlings are two for one!”

A veritable bargain.

11 Comments on “Call 1-800-Google”

  1. #1 steven
    on Jul 5th, 2006 at 7:06 am

    It’s really such a pity that in a world where you need a degree to manage a hamburger stand, a Garden Center doesn’t employ a someone with a Botany Degree or at the very least a Certified Plantsman.

    I join Steve in snorting and fleeing the scene.

  2. #2 rachelle
    on Jul 5th, 2006 at 4:48 pm

    yeah, sometimes i just look at the “knowledgeable” folk at the garden centers simply say “you are getting paid for this?” and that is pretty bad since i “experiment” with gardening more than “do” gardening and i don’t get paid for it. i just realized that there is a lot of “” in this comment. :(

  3. #3 inadvertentgardener
    on Jul 5th, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    Steven and Rachelle, it is most definitely a pity. Don’t get me wrong — this woman was quite nice — it just shocked me that no one’s ever walked into this particular garden center with this problem ever before….

  4. #4 Janet
    on Jul 5th, 2006 at 7:06 pm

    While I share your frustration, we do get what we pay for. If you want employees with appropriate degrees, you have to pay them enough to keep them. Then you have to charge more for your plants, and the customers go elsewhere. A bit of a Catch 22.

  5. #5 inadvertentgardener
    on Jul 5th, 2006 at 9:26 pm

    Janet, that’s an absolutely fair criticism. And very true…I can’t even imagine what the economics must be of having a greenhouse sitting around filled with perishable objects that may or may not sell.

  6. #6 Hanna in Cleveland
    on Jul 5th, 2006 at 10:03 pm

    Black walnuts are a pain. I have 4 in my tiny yard and that’s pared down from 7. Good thing the hubby likes chainsaws.

    The problem with most nurseries/garden centers is that they don’t cough up the $$$. Most people with the knowledge and degree like making a bit more than a McDonald’s cashier. :(

    The garden centers just don’t have a vested interest in paying the money. Think about it, if they hire people who can answer questions, they would have fewer return visitors.

  7. #7 The Inadvertent Gardener
    on Jul 6th, 2006 at 6:22 am

    [...] Call 1-800-Google [...]

  8. #8 jenn
    on Jul 7th, 2006 at 11:12 am

    An ‘expert’ knows that there is always more to learn. Most folks can’t hold everything in their head.

    And the web is an infinite resource. Being versed in gardening lets you sift out the sites that aren’t what you need, to focus on the information that is correct and neccessary.

    Don’t knock it too hard, Steve!

    “The problem with most nurseries/garden centers is that they don’t cough up the $$$. Most people with the knowledge and degree like making a bit more than a McDonald’s cashier. :(“ Ah-yep.

  9. #9 inadvertentgardener
    on Jul 7th, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    Hanna, I’m glad your hubby’s been able to at least lessen the problem via chainsaw…what a pain. Interesting comments on the garden center, situation, too. Have you checked out some of what Trey’s been talking about at The Golden Gecko blog?

    Jenn, your point’s well taken, and yes, the web is a great gardening tool — one of the handiest I’ve found yet!

  10. #10 Get your pot out back – The Inadvertent Gardener
    on Nov 13th, 2009 at 1:41 am

    [...] we walked out to the car with our plants, Steve apologized for disappearing while Melody looked up plant information on the web. “I couldn’t stand there and watch that,” he said. “There are no experts [...]

  11. #11 Go, garden, go! – The Inadvertent Gardener
    on Jan 21st, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    [...] pushed back from her desk at the Pleasant Valley Garden Center. “Let’s go see what we have out back,” she [...]

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